Train fares
‘Good morning Mr Brunel, welcome to the Twoday
Programme’
‘Thank
you Mr Humphreys, delighted to be here’
‘Please
call me John, we are all friends here. You are, I believe Mr I. K. Brunel, the
commercial director of Mendip Rail?’
‘Yes,
that is correct. We hold the franchise for providing rail services to the Western
Region from London Paddington.
‘You
have a very appropriate name for your role I see, may I call you Isambard?’
‘I’m
afraid that isn’t my name, I am Ian Kevin Brunel.’
‘Oh, right,
well I’m glad we got that sorted out. So tell me Ian, why are you yet again
inflicting an above average price rise on your long suffering passengers, for
the tenth year in a row?’
‘I’m
afraid we have little choice in the matter John. The government is insisting
that less money should come from the tax payer to support the railways so we
have to recover our costs from our passengers to support our services and to
provide investment for the network and rolling stock.’
‘I
assume rolling stock is railway-speak for trains?
‘Yes.’
‘So I
assume it is important that you keep the costs of running your service as low
as possible and you make investments in the most efficient rolling stock.’
‘Yes,
of course and we pride ourselves on meeting both of those criteria,’
‘Does
that include the electrification of the main line from Paddington to Bristol
Ian?’
‘Yes,
that will provide a clean, efficient and fast service between two of our major
cities and will reduce the travel time by an average of 13 minutes.’
‘Where
will the electrical power come from to drive these trains?’
‘It
will draw power from the National Grid but most of the power will be provided
by Didcot power station which is roughly halfway between Bristol and London.
This will minimise the transmission losses.’
‘So you
are using an old, 1960’s coal-fired power station to run what you describe as
your new ‘clean, efficient and fast’ new service? Does this mean that the
pollution from the burning coal will be seen by the residents of Didcot rather
than your passengers?’
‘No,
Didcot power station has a very high chimney so the exhaust gases are diluted
high in the atmosphere.’
‘One of
the highest structures in the UK I believe, which means that the gases are
blown to the east by the prevailing South Westerly wind and have been proven to
kill fish in Swedish lakes by acidifying the water.’
‘I
don’t know anything about that.’
‘Because
of the European clean air directive I believe that over half of the Didcot
power station will be shut down in March 2013 so that your power for your new
trains, when they come into service in 2014, will have to come from further
afield so increasing the transmission losses?’
‘Err,
yes.’
‘ Our
research has calculated the the overall conversion efficiency from coal to train
motion is about 15%. Would you agree with that?
‘Err, I
don’t know.’
‘Are
you aware that your namesake achieved a higher conversion efficiency of 17% on
the same route with shorter journey times using steam locomotives? Also that
the latest fluidised bed steam locomotives in use in Chile are now achieving
over 20%. A design for a steam locomotive using 21st century
technology has achieved 27% - nearly twice your proposal – using coal slurry
which is dramatically cleaner that standard coal furnaces. Are you sure you are
investing in the best technology Ian?’
‘That
is all very well but where would we get the coal from?’
‘From
Australia and Bolivia just as Didcot does now, Ian. Or, if you use a little
imagination, rather than importing it through Avonmouth as now thus keeping
many British miners out of work, you could exploit the coalfield which lies
under Avonmouth. This would reduce the number of people out of work, reduce
taxes to pay their job seeker’s allowance, reducing the pressure on government
to decrease your support and so you would have no need to increase fares – or
should that be unfairs Ian?’
‘Err,
well, that sounds all very good but it is outside my remit and err I don’t see
how and anyway it would err…’
‘Come
back Isambard, where are you when we need your vision, eh Ian?’
*
‘Now if I can turn to you Minister. You are Peter
Rhodes, Secretary of State for transport?’
‘Yes, I
am and I have been listening to your conversation with Ian here with great
interest.’
‘Good.
My question for you Minister, is why do you want to move the cost of providing
a railway service from the taxpayer to the passenger?’
‘Surely
it is only fair that those who use the service should pay for it?’
‘Yes,
that sounds reasonable at first sight but if you follow that logic then you end
up with only parents paying for schools and only sick people paying for the
NHS? Surely it is a mark of a civilised community that all of us chip in to pay
for what has been referred to as ‘the common goods’? This after all is the basis
on which the NHS was founded? Perhaps this is where this government is going?’
‘No,
absolutely not, John. This government is committed to keeping the NHS free at
the point of use.’
‘Glad
to hear that Minister. So using your logic then, why don’t you remove all tax
payer support from Ian here and leave him to set an economic price for the
service he provides?’
‘Well,
that would certainly help reduce taxes but there is a problem in that there is
no real competition and so we have to have a regulated price.’
‘Why
not allow competition to develop so that there is a free market in rail travel.
Entrepreneurs could then be encouraged to set up their own railways if they can
see a way to make a profit.’
‘No,
that wouldn’t work. We want to see an integrated transport system in this
country.’
‘Are
you aware that Brunel built a line from Paddington to Bristol, a hotel in
Bristol, a line to Neyland in Pembroke and a trans Atlantic steam ship service from
there to America and ran the whole shebang at a profit. He also had competition
from a rival line from London to the West Country to contend with. Are you
saying we have no one in this country who is capable of matching Brunel’s
achievements in the 21st century?’
‘Yes,
I’m afraid so.’
‘That
seems a great shame. Thank you Peter and Ian.
‘Thank
you John.’
Brilliant political deduction, Richard. And dare I say, some excellent ideas for the future of our rail and power industries?
ReplyDeleteBoth your industry spokesperson and your minister were depressingly believable!