Snow

Snow

‘Daddy… daddy… DADDY.’

      ‘Yes, Gorgeous Daughter, why are you shouting at me?’

      ‘Cos you were ignoring me, Mummy never ignores me.’

      ‘I was busy doing something so I didn’t hear you.’

      ‘Mummy always hears me, even when she is doing two things at the same time.’

      ‘OK, Miss Andry, that’s enough of your aggressive feminism, eight is too young for that.  How can I help you?’

      ‘Is it true what my best friend Fiona says?’

      ‘What does Fiona say?’

      ‘She says that her daddy says he knows everything. Do you know everything?’

      ‘I know as much of everything as Fiona’s daddy, in fact more because he’s a muppet.’

      ‘What’s a muppet?’

      ‘Never mind, Gorgeous Daughter, what were you going to ask me?’

      ‘Why is snow white?’

      ‘Well I guess it is because she is tired from looking after seven dwarves.’

      ‘No silly, I mean why is snow white when rain isn’t?’

      ‘Oh, that’s an easy question. The fairies paint each snow flake white on its way down from the sky.’

      ‘Where do they get the paint from?’

      ‘Same as we do, from B & Q of course.’

      ‘I’ve never seen any fairies when we’ve been shopping for paint.’

      ‘That is because B & Q only run their fairy price promise on Thursday mornings and we usually go on Friday evening or Saturday morning.’

      ‘Oh, OK.’

*

‘Daddy.’

      ‘Yes, Gorgeous Daughter.’

      ‘If each snow flake is painted white by the fairies, why isn’t there a lot of white paint left on the garden when the snow melts?’

      ‘That’s a very good question.’

      ‘When you say that it usually means you don’t know the answer.’

      ‘Of course I know the answer, I told you, your daddy knows everything.’

      ‘So what’s the answer then?’

      ‘Well, err, it’s…/

      ‘You don’t know do you. Wait ‘till I tell Fiona. She’ll tell her muppet daddy.’

      ‘Of course I know the answer, I was just teasing you. Don’t tell Fiona that I called her daddy a muppet will you?’’

      ‘OK. Well, what is it then?’

      ‘If you stop stamping your feet, I’ll tell you. The white paint dissolves into the earth so you don’t see it.’

      ‘What does dissolve mean?’

      ‘When you have a cup of tea, you put a spoonful of sugar in it don’t you?’

      ‘Yes, so?’

      ‘The sugar is white, just like snow flakes but when you have finished drinking your tea, you don’t see the sugar at the bottom of the cup do you? It is just the same with the white paint.’

      ‘Oh. OK’

*

‘Daddy.’

      ‘Yes, Gorgeous Daughter.’

      ‘Where does the sun go when it gets dark at night?’

      ‘It goes behind the earth so we can’t see it.’

      ‘OK, when you put me to bed at night, you or Mummy read me a story.’

      ‘Yes…’

      ‘Then when you have finished the story, you turn the light out.’

      ‘Yes…’

      ‘If the sun goes behind the earth at night, where does the light from my bedside light go?’

      ‘It goes back along the wire to the plug in the wall socket and then back along the wires in the wall.’

      ‘So it’s in the wires all night waiting to come out?’

      ‘Yes and if you turn your light on at night, the light comes back down the wires and the light comes on.’

      ‘If I turn the switch off at the wall socket, the light goes off’

      ‘Err, Yes.’

      ‘If I turn the switch off at the wall socket, unplug the light and then switch the wall socket switch on again, will light come out of the socket and make a puddle of light on the floor?’

      ‘Have you tried it?’

      ‘No, I don’t want to make a mess on the floor.’

      ‘That’s right, please don’t try it, we don’t want to have to clean up a big light puddle do we?’

      No, I suppose not.’

*

‘Daddy.’

      ‘Yes, Gorgeous Daughter.’

      ‘Does the sun really go behind the earth at night?’

      ‘Well, it looks like it but it is really the earth turning once a day that makes it look like that.’

      ‘So the earth is spinning?’

      ‘Yes.’

      ‘But when you take me down to the swings in the park, you tell me to hold on tight when I have a go on the roundabout as otherwise I would fall off. Why don’t I fall off the earth if it is spinning like a roundabout?’

      ‘Because the earth is a lot bigger than the roundabout, it has what is called gravity which pulls you on to the earth. So when you jump in the air, you soon come down to stand on the earth again.’

      ‘But if I look under my shoes, there is no string to pull me down with.’

      ‘That’s because gravity is a force which no one can see. It is like invisible string.’

      ‘Oh, OK.

*

‘Daddy.’

      ‘Yes, Gorgeous Daughter.’

      ‘Will you always answer all my questions?

      ‘Yes, of course I will.’

      ‘Why are boys different from girls?’

      ‘Err, go and ask your Mummy.’

      ‘You don’t know do you?’

      ‘Err, no.’

      ‘Fiona’s daddy doesn’t know either, she had to ask her mummy.’