Council cuts
‘Dear Mr Scott, we have some news
that will not accord with your views.
Gardening is a low priority
within this urban local authority.’
This was written in the letter
that triggered off a bitter vendetta
between the council and Gilbert S,
who spent his spare time growing filberts
His allotment is in the city centre,
he doesn’t own it, just a renter.
It’s full of catkins, leafs and nuts
surrounding two green water butts
Hazel bushes are all very well
but don’t give very much to sell.
‘Gilbert isn’t economic,
merely mildly gastronomic.
Times are hard,’ the letter said.
‘All our books are in the red.
We badly need to save some money,
we have no cash for milk and honey.
Children’s services have been cut
We had to sell the scouting hut,
Stop filling potholes in the road,
Cannot afford the high workload.
We had to sell the old folk’s homes.
The library has lost many tomes,
every youth club has been closed,
we voted for it unopposed
Everyone has to do their bit,
so now’s the time to take your hit.
We’re very sorry Gilbert Scott,
to have to say you’ve lost the plot.’
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